I have this WIP that I have been working on for about a week. It's starting to come together, but now I would very much like to hear from you if you have any comments and critique, before I put in too much detail, and it becomes too difficult to change!

[attachmentid=5814] [attachmentid=5815] (One of the figure alone - I don't know how well you can see him)

I still need to do the shading on the forest floor and the forefront character, and some more foliage, but I would like to be sure that there isn't something that I should change, especially on the figure (such as his posture, his expression, general anatomy etc), but also the shading of the trees and the two little boys on the branch above. So please critique away!

Hrymfaxe

Hyrmfaxe, I really like this picture!! Great composition. Looks like you would make a great children's book illustrator. Keep working on it, I would love to see it finished.

Thank you Venus. I'm glad you like the composition - I'm not so good at considering this beforehand, so it's always nice when it works out.

It is a lovely composition so don't take these criticisms too harshly, but I see some issues with proportions that you might want to clean up before the final rendering. First of all, the adult's calves appear to be too short -- i.e., his knees are too close to the ground. His shoulders are too narrow and much too sloped, unless he's supposed to be very dainty. His thighs seem too heavy.

Finally, based on their proportions, the children in the tree look to be about 12. But if so, they're too small -- they'd only come up to the man's waist. If their heads were larger, they'd look younger and their size would make more sense. In either case, the neck of the child on the right looks too long.

Thank you Ernest - don't worry about me taking this harshly - comments like this is exactly why I posted the drawing in this thread. I'm really happy that you commented, and I see what you mean. Sometimes it is too hard to see what is wrong, when you have been working with the same piece for a long time. (And he is not supposed to be that dainty - I was trying to make him look more masculin, but had a hard time finding the right thing to do! ) And great tips on the children. I almos never draw children, so I was fumbling in the dark here.

Again thank you for your comments. I'll go and make corrections.

Btw, is the adult's chest turned to much? I'm suddenly not so pleased with the dynamics....

Here is the drawing again after I tried to correct some of Ernest observations:

[attachmentid=5816]

I have lifted the adult's shoulders, lengthened his shins and made his thighs smaller. I have tried to make the childrens heads bigger. Also I have turned the adult slightly, so his upper body wasn't so twisted. Is it better now?

I feel that it is, yes!

I'm not an expert
I would lower the eyes a little.
To make him look a little more masculine I would lengthen his "skirt" to about mid-thigh and put a larger belt.
Also I would make the fabric bunch up more above the belt.

I do agree with Prismax, bringing the length of the skirt down some and adding a large belt would help him look more like a man. Also, would his arms look more masculine if they were a little fuller? Just a thought, I think you are doing a great job, I can't wait to see it with more details!
Elizabeth

Thank you for commenting Prismax and Ewall! Great ideas for making him more masculin - that really is my intention with him. (oh the arms... My reference for them are my own arms, which hopefully are not masculin! But that does create problems with the drawing of muscles!) I really want to try out your ideas right now, but I'm at work - how frustrating! Tonight I'll look at him again.

Again thank you everybody for your suggestions - I feel the children and the adult are much improved now, and I wouldn't have spotted all these things without you! For these changes, which are exclusively on the adult I have lengthened the skirt (plus added a slit in one side - it just felt right) The belt is enlarged, but I had so much trouble with it, because I couldn't find the right place for it. This solution with an extra belt, sort of "hanging" down to his thigh solved that, and broke up the very large flat skirt... I also changed the hair, because I suddenly found it very lifeless. And I enlarged the hands, and the arms to make them seem more male, instead of looking like mine!

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He definitely looks more masculine!

Oh, I'm SO happy you think so! Before the last changes, I suddenly saw that I had given him a waist and hip like he was a woman... What was I thinking? .. *shakes head* This forum is a great place for helpful critique and an opportunity to look at your drawing with new eyes.

I think that looks great, I know the finished piece is going to be beautiful! Will it all be done in pencil or another medium? Great job! Elizabeth

Thank you. It will all be pencil - it's for a compilation on the internet, so I'm sticking with the medium that I know - no need to experiment with this one.

Looks very nice.

Thank you Prismax - it wouldn't have been so fine now without you guys! And I promise to post the finished result here as soon as it is done, which will be no later than Sunday, for that is the deadline for this project. In which I have another drawing to finish as well:
[attachmentid=5826]
Now, I know this is perhaps a bit rough - but again the general placing of the figures is where I want them.. As you can see I had a little trouble with the face on the sword-man, so it stands out much clearer than everything else. This is not intentional, and will be changed when I draw up everything else as well. The helmet looks completely suspended between his arm and the floor, but could that be plausible if it was imagined that he had it under his arm, and then dropped it as he grapped for the other man? If not, I'll move it down on the floor.. Otherwise, please feel free to comment and critique on everything, and don't hold back! I can take it!

I would believe that the helmet was in mid-flight.

I see some of the same issues as in the other drawing. The sword-man's thighs are very long -- his knees need to move up! The other man has a very womanly figure: thighs too plump, waist too narrow. I like the action pose and the foreshortening of the arms in the back. Sword man's upper-body proportions are very good, I think.

Good news about the helmet - I think I'll try and blur the lines on it a little to make it clear that it's moving. Argh, those legs... I see your points, and I was even trying to do better this time. The other man is supposed to be less masculin than the sword-man, but not to the degree of being completely woman-like.. I'll make him less curvy. Is the turn of the other man's face too much? Do I need to show more of his expression?

Good morning! Your drawing is really good, but you do need to make them look more masculine, especially the one without the sword. And I do think turning his face a bit to see more of his expression would add to your drawing. Elizabeth

So here is the drawing again with changes. I think it is much better now - I have made the waistlines less curvy and taken some away from the thighs.. The knees are moved up.. I turned the face on the man without the sword, so his expression could be seen (and then I had to figure out what it was... ) Also I have added more detail, just because I felt like it!
[attachmentid=5832]

I do gaming drawings for some player in the D&D game I play and it is really hard to draw action shots for me unless its like spiderman or something like that the midevil times are hard to draw and take so much time ..your drawing is a very nice start to drawing these kind of pictures good job

Thank you! I know what you mean about drawing medieval times - I spent so much time searching the internet to find references for clothes, weapons, armour, boots etc... My favourites file for references is filling up with pages like that! What do you use the gaming drawings for? (I'm completely ignorant about these sort of games It sounds interesting though!) I have some sketches I made for the action drawing in my gallery for sketches and WIPs, so you can see I had to work quite a lot on poses, especially for the swordman, who changed very much from original idea to this finished pose...

well the guys in the game ask me to draw their characters ..they give me a detailed idea of what the character looks like and I go from there..some times its only a face others its the whole body ....I tend to like to draw realisum and they tend to want a bit more fantasy so its interesting .
The game I am in is very fun ... you play a character and you post daily as to what your character is doing .. depending on the situation in the game you might be hiking across a valley or you could be up against some evil creature lol I know sounds silly to most ...but trust me you must have an imagination and be able to tell a story well .. we have many readers who come to just read the story so we cant be all that bad .

It doesn't sound silly to me; it souns like a lot of fun and a good work-out for the imagination! No wonder the players want to see their characters in real life so to speak. That must be a fun excersice to try and give them what they are imagining! And hard too..

Thank you to everybody who commented and critiqued on this thread! It was very helpful to me both directly with the two drawings, and (I hope) further on, as some mistakes that I make repeatedly were brought to my attention. Knowing about them should help me avoid making them quite so regularly! Here are the drawings so near to finished that I'm almost sending them to the author of the compilation, they were made for, but I thought I would put them up here first. So if you have some last minute critique or comments, please tell me! Sunday is the deadline...
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[attachmentid=5839]

The piece in the forest looks great. I would add some leaves to the side without kids, but I'm not sure if that's composition wise to mess anything more. Lovely drawing
To the other image - they would use some suggestion of background, right now they are floating in the air. Not a real background, but a line or slight shadow to mark the floor.

Thank you! I was in doubt as to where to leave of with the trees and the leaves.. I will look at it again!

Ha - I was almost afraid someone would mention the floating! I just noticed it myself as I was scanning it! You are completely right! At the very least they need some shadowing on the floor...That would have the added bonus of making it clear that the helmet is falling and not lying. Thank you for commenting!

Commenting on your work is almost like I was doing mine, especially given my hastypace But make the leaves delicate and disappearing like you did the trees. I really like this image

Well then I'm glad to be of help! I will add the softly disappearing leaves. And the shadows worked wonders on the other drawing - no more magically floating elves!

Edit: I have sent the drawings, I couldn't wait any longer! Thank you for all your help - what a great place this is.