Sad situation Mindy. Wish you the best, thoughtful, clear mind to sort this out and make the wise decision for your future and also for your sons.
I just want to add that no matter how professional counsel and help you will get in these matters, think that this is a life decision far more complex than a job decision, for instance, and make sure you act and decide based on reason and judgment and not on emotions; never act under the influence of panic, desperation impulses and be strong enough to make your own decision and in this way to feel in charge of your own life, now; decision for which you will be the only one accountable in the future.It's always easier to blame others for our poor acts due to their influence on us but it's far more painful to suffer consequences of our actions because of advice received rather than our own reasoning.
Wish you best of luck and moral strength in these decisive moments.

Thank you so much everyone for your support and good wishes.

A friend sent this link to me by email, I thought I would share

Mindy I hope this will cheer you up a little

http://www.jacquielawson.com/preview.asp?c...&pv=3146946

Mindy, I am so sorry to hear of your situation. You have already had some wonderful messages of support and advice. My thoughts are with you and the little ones. They and your health are the priority now. Take care. Click to view attachment

The only other advice I can give is are you involved in your church?? Even if you aren't that involved try your Pastor or Priest or even the Base Chaplain if you live near or on a Base. They are there holiday or not. With your family so far away and so much stress you need some support there now just to get you through this initial period. Hang in there honey - you are doing the right thing. Know that we are all here for you.

Over here we have help lines to call and talk to suport folk - if you have some of those don't forget to use them as a resource too. They are there to listen - and getting things off your chest and saying them to someone who is not judgemental is a great thing - and you can often say things anonymously that you would even have trouble discussing with your family.

Stay strong

OH NO..i am so sorry to hear this too mindy..i know the feeling of being far from home and i agree that you should be nearer your family for now. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO LAY A HAND ON YOU..i wish you the best too hon. you followed all the right paths so far in the documentation. Good luck to you
these things dont get better mindy, EVER..they only slowly get worse
hugs
Kay

Bigs, just read your message about the geographically challened contestant - HA! This guy would be easy to knock out of the race - just tell him North America is close to West America and run the other way. I enjoy the reality shows too - but these days I don't have time to get caught up in them. I liked American Idol a couple of years back, now it's just nerve-wracking to watch. Dancing with The Stars appears to be fun, but it comes on pretty late (for me) and Bill and I both doze off most of the time. I'll have to tune in to The Amazing Race - it may be more interesting than wanna-be singers!

I know it's very early for Christmas whishes but take a look at my flash cards for that online greeting you want to send to your far away friends and family.

I also have made musical Winter greeting cards, among them 16 Nativity art cards with copies of famous master paintings, also musical.

Hi everyone,
I haven't popped in here for a few days, busy here with a whole lot of nothing! I was sorry to hear that Mindy is having problems, been there, done that, she is smarter than I. I stuck around too long. Mindy, I will send you a PM.
So just what has been going on here? Well Veteran's day is kind of special for us, my husband is a veteran of WWII and Korea. He talks about his time in the Navy as we would talk about our high school and college days, and for him, it was. He has a photo album of his time in the Navy and looks over the pictures as we do our yearbooks.
The day after Veteran's Day, is my husband's birthday, he was 82 yesterday. We didn't do anything special, I got him some cozy slippers (tempur pedic) and a hand held game called Einstein, it is supposed to keep your mind sharp and active. He seemed to be enjoying it.
I have been working on my blog, haven't posted any pics lately, but I have been visiting other blogs of people who belong to a Yahoo group I belong to. (Every Day Matters) In my blog hopping I came across this link,Pencil Art and I thought maybe some of you folks might enjoy it.
I have been Jonesing for another ATC swap, I guess I opened Pandora's box when I participated in the "under the sea" swap.
I have been trying to maintain an art journal. Since I don't go out much, I feel I am a bit limited for material. I recently ordered a few books about journalling and art journals and creativity.
I hope everyone is well, and will drop in again soon.
Regards,
Trish

Trish, congrats to your husband and best wishes on his 82nd birthday! My step-dad served in Korea, and loves talking about his time there (although when the grandkids are around, he has to censor some of the stories ).

The art journal is a great idea - I try to keep one, it is a nice place to retreat, and since it's not for public viewing, there's no expectations. I read a wonderful book recently Drawing From Life: The Journal as Art (Jennifer New), and really enjoyed it. Sometimes drawings don't quite happen in mine, just words, but it's still therapeutic, and keeps the creative spirit alive. It's important to seek that inspiration, since I don't get out a whole lot either - between caring for hubby and working, etc. Although, I have discovered there is a tiny little universe in my back yard though - plenty of subjects there.

Trish, I agree with our ncgirl , there are so many things just in your backyard and neighbourhood. Am doing an ATC swap on Wet Canvas without topic (we could pick our subjects) and one of our folk did the things she found on her walks in the park - there were crumpled autumn toned leaves, catkins, I got an acorn from her, these were all beautiful!! Just try sketching what you are familiar with. I read another artist saying that he went to Italy and spent the first 3 days not sketching or painting - he couldn't find the "right" spot. In the end his advice was just stop wherever you are and there is something to paint - look for the unusual crop or even paint the mundane - it is what the Master's did, we think that the French cafe scenes are exotic, but these were where they spent everyday.

Oh and wish Hubby a belated happy birthday from over here in Oz.................and I promise I won't ask your age .....................oops I just sort of did .

Its funny how we look for that 'perfect' thing to draw when often its right under our noses. I find that the most mundane everyday thing turns into a work of art when you draw it. A cup of tea, a pencil, a glass of water, so many possibilities.... Yesterday morning it was very frosty here so I bundled up and went out to take photos. I was filled with inspiration and lots of material for future drawings and paintings and I barely left my own property. You can see the results on my blog if you're interested in hoar frost.

Today its warmed up so no frost, but still lots to inspire just outside my door or in my house. I always think we never see something until we draw it. Perhaps I need to revitalize that 'sketch from life' thread...

That's a great idea, to bring back the sketch-a-day thread. I've just bought a sketchbook especially to use as a sketch diary, to try and motivate myself to draw something every day. It seems these days I've been too nervous to sit and draw properly. As I mentioned earlier my husband and I are having a rough time but it seems I can't take the children out of state without a huge custody battle. I understand why they have it set up that way, to discourage hasty divorces in families with kids, but man what a pain. We will probably do spousal counseling and fingers crossed it will not become the "cycle of violence" I've read so much about this past week.

I'll see if I can set up the sketch thread tomorrow. I haven't got much time to do it tonight.

And yes, custody laws and movement of children are set up for the welfare of the children as some couples like to divorce at the drop of a hat. Only you can decide whether its worth the trouble to go through that process if you want out of a situation.

The sketch thread sounds cool Jeanette! I loved the pictures on your blog of the hoar frost (how do you pronounce?). Interesting blog too - if I can get everyone here to stop popping into my cubicle, I may actually get a chance to read more!

We are finally getting light frosts down here, not nearly as dramatic as yours, but still a good indication that winter is truly here and the earth sleeps. I've been looking forward to colder temps - it was in the mid 70s Saturday - hey, it is November y'know.

I've got to find a pic I took of a tobacco barn on a frosty morning last year with the rising sun sparkling on the frost and post it in the photo gallery. The old tobacco barns are disappearing rapidly and it's hard to find one completely standing - quite a few are being harvested for the timbers, they are typically hardwood (oak, birch, etc.) and cured by many years of tobacco curing process (very high heat). Bill and I tried bargaining for a couple, but the old farmers know what they have and little dollar signs appeared in their eyes as soon as we asked about the barns.

That frost was the first real frost of the year and it was beautiful that time of day, but disappeared fast. Its pronounced 'horr' which rhymes with wore. I loved how the ice crystals formed little spikes almost. It was neat and transformed the landscape.

Yes, how work interferes with life...I know that feeling. I'd rather be at home drawing right now!

That photo of the tobacco barn sounds lovely. I hope you find it. Yes, those barns sound a bit like the grain elevators in western Canada. They're rapidly disappearing so are like gold dust to some. I keep taking photos of them when I go out west to visit my daughters, they fascinate me.

Has anyone heard from Kay (Oliverand jazz). She's been quiet for a whole week and that's not like her!! I miss her cheery comments.

I was wondering about her and Kim.

During the CP-Workshop Oliverandjazz said that she had a death in her family

Hope Kay (O&J) is back soon - I've noticed she was quiet this week - but assumed she was busy with other projects.

Well I have managed to get into the Christmas spirit - yes it's amazing since I am the Grinch's long-lost sister, and usually grumble and grouch through most of the season. But it snowed here yesterday!! Nothing significant, just a good flurry - but we rarely get snow in this part of the world at any time of the year, much less before Thanksgiving. Bill and I were driving through downtown when it started, and the workers were putting up the Christmas lights in the trees on our main street and hanging wreaths. It was so magical, we dug our Christmas music CD out, blew the dust off of it and enjoyed a few moments of it. Felt like we had dropped into a Norman Rockwell painting. I hope this means we get more snow this year - I love snow, since at the first sign of accumulation, all the schools and businesses close up tight and we get a day or two off work. Three inches of the fluffy stuff can shut our whole county down.

So - I'm ready for the holidays now - let's see how long the feeling lasts! Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!

Christmas!! Shhhhhhhhhhh I'm not ready for that yet! Though it creeps up fast doesn't it?

I'm the original Grinch except for Christmas Eve, which I like. The rest, I can do without entirely. Wouldn't miss it for a second and I'd trade it for a week on the beach anyday. However, that's unlikely, at least this year.

No snow here today, just drizzle and fog and grey. But its suprisingly mild for mid November here. Almost balmy. I'm sure that will likely change though. Nothing shuts down here unless there is a blinding snowstorm and 25 or 30 cm of snow coming down. I hate driving in snowstorms, the older I get, the more I dislike it. But the city does keep the roads pretty clear so its generally not too bad unless you're in the midst of a storm.

hi everyone,
I've been missing all these nice chats...

looks like its time I get back on my feet.

Husband and Son are well, they arrived well and are already working.
I have been very lonely, specially at night. During the day, I try to be busy. Today after my tutering lesson, I went to my mother's house for a while so I didn't have to stay alone in the house.

Christmas....I'm certainly NOT ready for it eighter, for me the important thing about Christmas is to be with our family, and this year I don't know how it will be. I hope I can go to London to be with my husdband and son, but I won't be able to be with my parents and sisters.... well I guess the important thing is that everyone is Ok and healthy.

Here it never snows but its very cold at night, during the day its not so bad, when the sun shines its quite nice, it has been sunny these days


Mindy, I hope things are comming around nicely for you

Ncgirl, nice to know someone is already into the Christmas spirit

Jeanette, that sketch thread is awsome, I hope to join in soon

Kay is fine, I'm sure she will pop in here anytime to fill you in.

If I may say so Clara, looks to me that is more important to be with your husband and son for holidays than with other members of your family. Because they are those who suffer most from living in a new environment, far from home and you can bring them a part of home and yourself they surely miss already.

Speaking of Christmas I remember my childhood in my country Romania, those New York style winters and Santa's gifts.Since the year that i was born they bought me a Christmas tree which my mother decorated with nuts wrapped in aluminium foil, real mandarines and oranges and some candy they sold in stores also wrapped in colored aluminium foil to hang in the tree along with beautiful glass ornaments.I still have one of my first tree ornaments from my first tree.Another thing quite odd for a communist country many would consider was Santa. Religion and churches were free to attend unlike Russia or Albania.Yes, my parents took me to the institute where they worked and there usually the director was every year dressed as Santa Claus(Santa's name was changed from father Christmas into father Frost during communist times)and they gave gifts to all the children under the age of 14.So for 14 years i visited Santa regularly and told him a poem in front of the cameras since we were filmed and everything.The money were union money and the gifts were not just toys but also clothing for winter.
Later on I used to attend Christmas service in different churches in Bucharest(Lutheran, Catholic, etc) where Christmas music was played and carols were sung. There are many denominations of Christian churches in Bucharest, even an anglican one. Also in the winter period I used to go with many other Christians to the temple(jewish sinagogue) for Hanukka.It was beautiful to see all these comunities celebrating their holidays with music and joy.
From all this all we have kept through the years is the Christmas tree and the CD music which accompanies us throughout the holly week.I really miss the snow though, the frost and the snowmen.
here is me at 4 years old and 5 months holding Santa's hand.(December 1958)

Clara, it will take time to adjust being on your own, but you've got all of us here to natter away with so you're never really alone. I'm glad your husband and son are settling into work in the UK. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can all be together for Christmas.

Elena, its always interesting to hear about other cultures and traditions around holidays. And I LOVE that photo. It would make such a perfect drawing. You should try it.

Thank you, Jeanette. My intention was to include the photo in a challenge but it's rather small size and not very clear.You can try it if you want.I have more from different years with different Santas.But this is nice for the hand holding gesture.

Ahh, well we are having a very Queensland season this year. We of course do not have snow but this week we have had 3 "super cell" storms with the damage bill getting close to 1/2 a billion dollars. The South East has been declared a disaster area.

Luckily we have come out of it pretty well. We have had the heavy rain 250 - 300mm each night of the storms.........but it comes down in a couple of hours not all night. Big winds equal to a category 3 cyclone (hurricane). I was caught last night in the one that hit us the worst at my place ....................2 km from home and I couldn't see more than 5ft in front of the car - the rain was sideways (as flat as a tabletop - weird) had to fight to keep the car on the road and could only drive at 10 - 15 km/hr, with small trees coming down across the road!!!!!!

Once I got home I saw that the drain was blocked with silt and the water was backing up to the house EEEK!! I grabbed the shovel and started clearing it - was running on adrenalin so I didn't even feel my back complain until after (have a spinal nerve root compression at present - paying for it today though!) and it wasn't until lightning hit really close that I realised I was standing in a tropical storm with a metal implement....................I was a lightning rod!!!!!! I high-tailed back inside and decided I would deal with it if the water came inside - luckily it had been cleared and I was safe PHEW!!

We had between 300 - 400 mm rain in 3 hours! But at least I was dry and had the roof still on my house, even though we were blacked out. So many people have lost their rooves or had water running through their homes. Christmas is great in the Sunshine State! Ha Ha!

But come Christmas Day we will be eating chilled seafood and my famous ice-cream Christmas Cake, sipping on long cold drinks!! Unless a storm hits that is.........

bigs, what an adventure you've had - be careful out in those storms! Glad to hear that you came through the storm ok and without much damage - to your house that is! Get the hot compress and ice packs out for your back - ouch! We have our share of hurricanes out this way - they can be lively to drive in. Do you guys typically have to deal with flooding afterwards?

Wow, that sounds like quite the storm. Lucky you didn't have any damage. Driving in weather like that is horrendous. We get tail ends of hurricanes here, but they're usually petered out by the time they get here. Just heavy rain and high winds, depending on how close the system comes to the island.

Christmas just around the corner,

I am looking forward to going home as i have not seen my family in six months now, so christmas for me is going to be a good time with family and friends.
I usually spend christmas on my game farm in Mpumalange,fly fishing christmas morning,waist deep in one of the local rivers,no mobile phones just the family and the African bush.

Regards Wayneo

Hello all,
it is one o'clock in the night and I am looking out of the window. It's snowing! I did my weekly shopping today because of a storm- and snowwarning on radio and television. I am living at the lower rhine near the netherlands and we are not used to have snow. It is really fast a chaos on the roads and there were many accidents. I like the silence when the snow falls because I live near to the cross of two highways and here is allways, at night too, a noise of cars in the air. Good night people

Ulrike, sounds nice al that quiet aftre the snow. But its a bit like here - we are dry through the winter but at the first rains it seems everyone gets what I call the "Steve McQueen" syndrome and forget how to drive safely and drive way too fast for the conditions. It is the silly season after all.

Jeanette & ncgirl, we are sub-tropical where I live so we get heavy rains each summer (unless we are in drought). On occasion we get a cyclone, but more often we get the tail end when they are a rain depression with stong winds. But we do get storms that they call super cells - they have cyclonic winds and torrential rains, and its those that we have had 3 times this week. Normally we might get 1 or 2 a season and they aren't as destructive as these. TYhe last time a cyclone hit Brisbane was in January 1974 when half the city was flooded it seemed. And later that year we had another cyclone come down the coast but it wasn't as strong. They are saying that these are the worst storm results since 1974 - we were due for a cyclone - just hope Mother Nature is satisfied with these storms and doesn't send a cyclone as well this season.

Wayneo, what a wonderful peaceful Christmas - I am glad after so long away that you will be able to be with family.

Elena and Jeanette, thanks, I am doing whatever I can to go to London for Chritmas

Bigs, wow that was quite an adventure, glad everything is fine

Goldlaus, Nice to know you are safe at home and watching the snow out your window

Wayneo, GOOD for you ; sounds like Christmas is going to be fun I cannot imagine beeing 6 months away from my family....Its just been 5 days that I've been apart from mine and it seems like forever!!!! Hopefully I will be with them for Christmas too, and won't have to wait 6 months to see them like you did.

Here in Portugal, we have had very nice weather, sunny days, and not so cold nights either that's one good thing about Portugal.

I went to look at the ocean today, it calms me down to sit for a while and listen to the waves and just stare at the sea then I went to my mother's picked up my 19 year old nephew and brought him to my house to have dinner with me, It was nice to have someone to cook for...and I hate cooking then we both went for a coffee and then I drove him back home.

Yours sounds like the perfect Christmas Wayne. What game is on your reserve? A bit different than the caribou, moose or bears here I would imagine.

I love the ocean too Clara and its right on my doorstep. five minutes from my house and I'm on the beach. Its interesting that Portugal and Newfoundland have a very strong tie through the fishery, or what was the fishery, as due to moritoriums and stock shortages there virtually is none now. But I remember as a child and teenager the streets near the waterfront filled with Portugese men from the White Fleet. The ships would be moored 5 deep at the docks when they came in due to stormy weather. You can read a bit more about the Portugal/Newfoundland connection here.

I'm up early and in my studio painting at 7am! Nothing like coffee and turp fumes for breakfast!

Jeanette how lucky of you to live almost on the beach I'm five minutes away from the beach too, but by car! I like to drive there wenhever I can.
I did know about the tie between Portugal and America but not much in detail, thanks for that link its nice to know more details about our history. I was never very good at history, and I have a lack in Portugal's history, because as I studied my first years in South Africa, I did not have Portugal's history as a subject, and then later already here in Portugal, I chose Art's area, so no History eighter. And we have such a rich History, Portugal had a very big empire back then.

Thanks Bigs i am looking forward to seeing my wife and two daughters,

Kaly,its a long time not to be with your family,my contract is for three years, but hopefully i will get to see more of them next year.

Jeanette,we have a lot of game on the farm,Giraffe,Rhino,Wildebeest,Leopard,Zebra,Wharthog,Serville,Baboon,and a lot of wild buck,different varieties etc,i enjoy an early morning horse ride into the bush with my daughters.

On horseback if you are carefull you can get very close to the animals. About a 15 min drive from us there are lion and elephant,the traditional big five.

Sounds wonderful Wayneo. Nothing nicer than a horse ride - quiet and time to really look at things - I am missing my riding days.

I think I'll split the difference and say Clara & Jeanette a horse ride along the beach - now that is truly great!!

Wayne, I would imagine with animals like that at your backdoor almost, you have some stories to tell and some great photos.

I agree Bigs, riding on the beach is lovely. However, here its a challenge as there are few sandy beaches, most are pebble - or boulder Poor horse would have a hard time of it I think.

Sue, I bet riding a horse along the beach must be lovely, the only problem is...I cannot ride a horse...because of my hip I've always loved horses!

I NEED TO FIND SOME GOOD BLACK AND WHITE PORTRAITS PHOTOS. ANYBODY HELP ME, PLEASE?

I agree Bigs horses are fun,

Janette, you have to be carefull with wild animals,but if you know how they behave and respect that,theres normally not a problem.The rule at night on the farm is dont walk around ,stay indoors,

over the years i have had some fun with elephant,rhino,crocodile,hippo,leopard,but my worst experience was baboon

Regards Wayneo

Javier, there may be some royalty free photos in the Inspiration Gallery that you can use. Have you checked there? Otherwise, there are other listings for royaltyfree images online. There is a thread here, if you search for it, that lists a load of sites that have images that you can use.

With rules changing so much about copyright it really is much safer to take your own photos. Yes it takes time and some coordination, but its worthwhile.

Yes, I don't expect you would wander around at night outside Wayne. Now you can't leave me hanging with a hint about an encounter with a baboon without telling the whole story...

Hi everyone.Just letting you know that in two days we will celebrate Thanksgiving here in the States and this is a younger me provoking the big bird. In my childhood we used to irritate turkeys by waving some red colors in front of them. They really start making all sort of desperate sounds and agitate their wings when they see red.

Now that's for laughs.

Cute photo, but I think the turkey may be past caring about your red bow...

As we raise turkeys I find they are attracted to red. In fact we give them a big red child's ball to play with! They love to knock it around and it distracts them from occasionally picking on another weaker bird.

Enjoy Thanksgiving! In Canada we have it the first weekend in October. Very similar sort of harvest festival feel to it here.

Hi Jeanette,

I was out for a walk one morning, in the bush, through a narrow valley with mountains on both sides of me, I was about 8 klm away from the lodge, when I heard a large baboon call on the ridge to my right. I carried on walking, because baboon is common in the area.

A few minutes later the calls carried on, barking and becoming aggressive. Another baboon answered on the left ridge, and I realized I had walked into a problem. I was far away from the lodge and very exposed. The short story is I ran the 8klm back to the lodge, with the pack of baboons hunting me through the valley.

Very disturbing experience, they followed me to the lodge and tried to get in, smashing on the windows and doors.

Baboons, unpredictable and aggressive animals.

Regards Wayne

Elena, looks like that turkey won't react to red any more


ooops Wayne, sound like an adventure to keep in mind next time you go walking in the bushes!!

Elena, that's such a cute photo. I mean your expression, not the dead bird. I had no idea turkeys react in any way to the color red. I wonder why they do.

Wayneo, that is a very scary story, even as a short version. I grew up in Florida where the most dangerous wildlife to consider was an alligator or rattlesnake. I can't imagine living in the "real" wild where you walk among baboons. Glad you made it out of that situation ok.

Thanks for telling us about that experience Wayne. I guess people don't think of the ape family as being really aggressive, but now that you mention it, I recall something about baboons having 'issues'. I'm glad you came away unscathed but I'm sure it was frightening. Imagine them trying to get into the house...

Mindy, from what little I know about turkeys - or any other birds - chickens, ducks etc that we raise - its a survival thing. Red means blood and if one bird has an injury or is bleeding even from a small feather coming out, the others will peck it unmercifully and kill it eventually. The survival of the fittest presumably where the weaker one slows down or endangers the flock.

That's so brutal, but it makes sense.

Wayneo, it is so good to hear someone else talk about the bush! I have this hideous grass here that grows so quickly (I swear if you stand still long enough you can see it grow), and I always joke about the fact that after a week of rain it is so long that the giraffe have moved in and I'll soon have to get the elephant gun out . So it is nice to know that would be at home in the bush!

I have heard that baboons can be very nasty - some chimps, I have heard, can be canabalistic, and sometimes kill for fun (I watch too many doco's), seems that a lot of primates have anger issues .

We have some folk up the road from us who are raising turkeys to sell for Christmas. I just wish that they would keep them in their yard or "dunlop disease" will get them before anything else does. Actually I am not sure why they would raise turkeys - we are not a nation who is big on them...............it is only in the last few years that advertisers have been pushing turkey as the bird to eat - it was always chicken!

Was wondering - does anyone else notice things changing and wonder when it happened? I hear more and more folk saying Happy Christmas, when for all of my life it has been Merry Christmas. Who decided that we shouldn't be merry????

Hey Sue, I hadn't noticed that, but for me it will always be Merry Christmas and Happy New year

I know that in the UK, it nearly always was/is 'Happy' Christmas, not 'Merry'. For me it always was Merry, being from the other side of the pond .....just tradition or culture I guess. Similar to the 'Happy Holidays' that are politically correct to include all individuals who celebrate holidays or festivals around a similar time of year, things adjust constantly to accomodate everyone.

The same with eating turkey for various holidays, just a tradition for some, not for others. I think probably it is because its a larger bird and able to feed more people who gather at holidays.