Mike Sibley Comment Posted Oct.26th, 2012, viewed 77 times
Your shading of the petals could have been smoother - your highlights describe the form of the leaves quite well, but there are a few visible lines in your shading that don't follow the direction of the leaf (so they don't read as texture). More importantly, many of your lines are either unnaturally blunt-ended or they show continuous up-and-down shading. Neither will disappear when blended.
Darker tones within the inside of the flower would have given a better sense of depth, made more sense of the initial dark triangle, and helped to make the stamens stand out. In any case, the stamens would have stood out much better if you had kept their edges sharper.
I feel you had a good idea of the three-dimensional shapes as you shaded this. The ideal is to always present a drawing to your viewer that instantly tells them the shape, form, and texture of each object within it. THey can't read your mind, so you need to exaggerate a little to add clarity.
In many places you've relied on line to separate petals. Line is a purely man-made device, so look for ways that cast shadows or reflected light can help you to display edges and junctions between two parts. I know I said it was OK this time, so I'm just telling you for future reference :o)
For example, the big 10 o'clock petal is casting its shadow on the 8 o'clock petal below it. That cast shadow helps to visually divide the two and, if you'd made it as dark as the line and extended it the full width of the petal, the line would have disappeared - it would no longer be needed. And you can use that shadow to tell the eye about the curve of the petal that it falls on. See image below.
I can't see any signs of you having blended the petals - even if you have or intend to, blending won't compensate for an initial rough application. Although the majority of your lines of shading do follow the length of the petals and can be read as surface detail, the blunt and hooked ends are a bit too visible to read realistically. The blunt ends just need to be tapered, as I described in Exercise 2.
Overall, a good try with some description of three-dimensional form but the reality is damaged by those blent ends that has spoiled an otherwise good drawing.
In response to image: